I guess I am a purging fool this weekend. My first week back on methotrexate , a full dose, and it is knocking my system for a loop -first time ever I wasn’t knocked out, rather this time I am wide awake.
This weekend also reminded me why I am not working at the moment. I stepped into the depths of a brain fog. You can tell when I am in one, I am very careful with my words, always allowing for an error. After all we’re all human.
So as I was facing the music of owning my mistake, something I tried to teach the kids — I am sure there were days I may have failed, I wondered to myself why we don’t see more of that? — There was a time when it was okay to learn from a mistake, now we’re fearful someone will call us weak, make fun of us, laugh. What it is we fear, the sky will fall?
Age does toughen you a bit, not so much against the world -well, maybe a little bit, but more so against your own insecurities you battled while constantly looking over your shoulder.
“Shit happens, “ was my motto at work, “own it and move forward”. Some understand, some take advantage, and then some look at you in horror like they just stepped in , well you know…
It’s how you thin the herd ;)
I’m in this really awkward stage of life, where I am reaching out here and there trying old things, and some new things , as I manage this retirement known as disability. And through it all battling with my fingers and with Medicaid provider, #Centene. So, of course, in the drama queen ways handed down to me by my mother with my Dad’s persistence, I decided I would also take on #Goliath while I am at it and call them out around every turn for denying prior authorizations while settling lawsuits across the country. Once I heard children were going through what I was, game on. Yeah, I’m an ant and I think I an move a rubber tree plant, it’s been an issue since birth couple that with not being graceful, I’ve been known to fall. But, I do always get back up, or, at least try….because, damnit I’m Prussian, and still have hopes of there being an East Prussia, giving my grandparents back their homeland. So, yeah, sometimes a little delusional, too — but, hey, it can be fun.
Long story short- give Centene Watch a like and follow and we can become nauseous together. See what copy and paste can compile.
And be warned, my son thinks it is good I am writing again, blame him for my future purge of life posts.
